♥ The way you look at me.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What's your rationale? blogged

THIS POST IS GONNA BE EMO.

THIS SHALL BE THE LAST POST ABOUT SOMEONE WHO HURTS ME MOST.

im so tired. only being able to sleep at 5am. then guess wat, woke up at 9am. i hate it man. insomnia, i hate u. just get out of my life can u? i hate swollen eyes n shredding tears. i wont do it anymore.

after one night of thinking. i shall vent out my angers n this shall be e last time i talking abt it here.

e someone wont be here anymore to read my blog, so i just say out wat i feel bahx.

and this will be e last time im so sad over this thing, after today, i will lead a happy life de. n as wat ive promised, i will still be friend with e someone. this is wat ive promised. I HATE PEOPLE BREAKING PROMISES.

i seriously have a lot of things to regret. but i noe its too late for anything. but as least i say everything out, maybe i can forget everything faster bahx.

so due to myself being so free, i shall list them all out.

i regretted knowing u, regretted giving things up because of u, i regretted being close to u in camp, regretted being in e same grp as u in camp, regretted sharing with u all my problems, regretted thinking ur shoulders are nice to lean on, regretted being so weak for u, regretted being together with u, n most importantly, i regretted LOVING YOU!!!

am i so not worth to be loved. i have given in to u a lot, giving u wat u want, n giving u all e freedom u want, but wat happens in e end? u reciprocate me with this kind of rubbish?

and i seriously believe in retribution, coz ive gotten mine. n u have tasted e feeling of being hurt by ur love one, so why will u do it to someone who loved u? why must u be so cruel? n seriously, if u are not able to let go of ur past relationship, why get into another to hurt someone else? dun always say tat u have let go, NO, u hasnt. n u will not.

n stop lying to me. watever u say is just lies. n to myself, can u stop being so dumb to believe everything he said?

this time u really hurt me too much. i assure u it will be a scar in my heart forever n ever.

i hate u walking into my life, making me fall in love wif u, n ending up leaving me just becoz u dun wan to get committed. wat do u treat me as? a thing tat u take for granted? n just like maybe a sport tat u take it up becoz u think its nice or watever sort, n just give it up coz u tink u r tired of it or u dun want to commit to it anymore? hey, im a human okiez? dun i look one? hahax.

how i wish u just stay as e one who admires me, n we are just acquaintance, or maybe just frens. if one day i were to become a les or watsoever, its ur fault. hahax. im not blaming u, i only seemed like blaming u.

n i promise, i will do all i can n all sort of rubbish or wat, just to forget u. hahax.

thanks for nothing.

now i can just hope tat my life will be better without u, or i shld say,wif u, just as a fren. coz as ive promised.

hahax. back to my real self, this post is so wat, hahax, it doesnt sound wat i will usually write. so this time im really hurt okiez?!

n for someone, this post is not for scolding u or wat, is just things i wrote to vent out my angers n emotions. after today, IF we were to meet in sch or wat, i will still be e one who will smile n talk to u, coz U ARE MY FREN. i love to be nice to my frens.

i shall not cry anymore for u le. to myself: its not worth crying over someone who hurts u. hahax.

and for e time being, i dunno whether to go skates or not. even if i dun go, it will be not becoz of u, is just becoz im not free or just i dun feel like going. hahax. after one night of thoughts, i wont change anything becoz of u, coz not worth it, n i will stop being so dumb. n skates is wat i enjoy, so ya. hahax.

n for u, i hope tat u will fulfil ur promises too. although u have broken a lot. hahax. we will still be frens. n ya, its better to talk to each other or wat than avoiding, coz i dun wan to end up in awkward situations. hahax. n just take it tat nth has happen before. we only stop at friendship. hahax. i know u can do it de unlike me. but i will try my best de. hahax.

now i seriously noe frens and family are the best people to have in life. n i will treasure them like how i treasure my eyelashes. lolz. weird comparison ritez? hahax.

okiez. i shall end my emo post le. lolz. so for those who are reading it. sorry for making u all so emo, if u all feel emo lah. hahax.

n today is e first day without u, i went out wif vonnyl, debbie, juliana, weiying n jamie. they are very nice n wonderful frens to have. i will cherish them de. hahax. first day without u, n i lived happily. lolz. i will cont to stay happy de. jia you to me. lolz.

n ps: please start learning to treasure ppl who love u.

n for all my frens out there. take care.

n most imptly, thanks shiya for being there for me when im down. shiya, i love u okiez?! hahax.

TO THE SOMEONE: lets be frens forever. hahax. n hope our frenship will last. =]

♥its going on 11:58:00 AM